Crazy news, everyone… And plenty of it… Firstly, the LLBS is now on twitter… I don’t even know what that means, but it must be exciting because I am sweating profusely… We’ve also closed a deal to to a one-night-only show in Red Deer! Details will be released shortly, but I can tell you that if you are in the Red Deer area on April 7th, you may want to pencil yourself in for some sketch comedy that night… But that’s April… What about March? Well, everyone on Earth has probably already heard of our upcoming show, LEPRECHAUMMUNIST, playing in Calgary from March 14-17… And did we mention there would be gold? So much gold… NOTE: There will be no gold. But who needs gold when you can look at a poster… And look at that! A sneak peek at the 1st draft of our poster is right next to this message… FOR FREE!  In fact, there are two copies of it, to doubly blow your mind… Our designer, Aaron, has once again proven his loyalty to the cause with this beautiful piece of propaganda… And that’s just the beginning…Soon, we shall bombard you with subversive messages that will rouse you to join us in our sketch comedy revolution, including some new video content on our youtube channel… But we’re technically still on hiatus, and Valentine’s Day is coming up, so all of this subversive material will probably have to wait until the end of February… But mark my words, when the month of March begins, so begins our revolution! Until then, comrades…

HUGS!

Good morrow, everyone. Just checking in… Making sure that y’all, our many fans, aren’t going through withdrawal to the point where you have begun using drugs, alcohol or religion as a crutch until our next show… Hey, and speaking of religion… After our holiday hiatus, the LLBS is gearing up for our spring season… We’ve got two shows on the way in March (14-17) and April (25-28) and we will be starting our world tour with a quick stop in Red Deer on April 7th… More details forthcoming… Until then…

HUGS!

  Everyone! We at the Late, Late Breakfast Show are ready to pack up our props, costumes, and comedy stylings for three months… But we do have one more show! It’s tonight! Saturday! Dec. 10th! SNOW JOB! 8pm! birds and stone! 204 16th Ave NW! So bring yo’self! Bring yo’ friends! Tell the world! Anyway, about last night… 2 shows… Both on a surprising level of awesomeness… The 8pm show was pretty packed and there was laughter throughout what was probably our smoothest show yet… Amos even remembered his props! It just feels good when a crowd is into what you are doing and you get full laughter as a response… Sometimes smaller crowds are a shy bunch… They might like the show, but fear the repercussions of chortling amongst strangers in case they too don’t laugh… Or they don’t like the show at all… Either way, we do the same show… But when we feel the crowd getting it, no matter the # of audience out there, there’s no denying an indescribable energy that thrusts the show forward… A great example of this was our late show last night… The 10:30pm show… We had a quartet of audience members that were engaged and open to our ridiculousness from the very beginning… The laughter flowed, and so did the show… However, because it was the late show and we were giving such an exclusive performance, we decided to give ‘em something special; throw a couple of wrinkles into the show for their, and our own, amusement… Pat changed some song lyrics that made Justin full-on break character and forget his blocking… Justin, in return, threw in some added humiliation for one of Pat’s characters in a later scene… Ayla (pictured), playing an 8-year-old took a more-aggressive-than-usual stance when arguing for a present from Santa and, in the same scene Charlotte brought out some more-agressive-than-usual cleavage to presumably distract both Justin and Ayla… And, in the final scene, Amos added a costume piece so unexpected that, upon his entrance, he was greeted with smiles, laughter and dropped jaws… If all of this sounds unprofessional, then I guess you had to be there… And, in rebuttal, I can only say it was all to augment the experience of our small-but-dedicated audience of four for the late show… And now, there is but one show left until the new year… We hope to see the theatre packed tonight (or not, either way we’re going to, as Barb Mitchell said about last night, “rock it”)… And then ride off into the sunset/winter darkness until 2012, when we will surely see you again (in March)… Until then…

HUGS!

Hugs

Jiminy Crickets! Thursday’s SNOW JOB was crazy! If you missed it, you missed one of the loosest sketch shows we’ve ever done! And it was glorious! There were curveballs getting thrown all night… new improvs, misuse of props (Pat Quinn, pictured, went a little bit crazy with some canola oil, which proved hilarious), line switching, new fight choreography, misplaying of a triangle, and some new song lyrics (Pat Quinn, pictured, went a little bit crazy there too… again, hilarity ensued)… I mean, don’t get me wrong, SNOW JOB is still a well-oiled machine (especially with the abundance of canola oil), but we at the Late, Late Breakfast Show appear to always be at our best when we know the material well enough to throw the occasional aforementioned curveball… And that was Thursday… So, now we come to Friday night… Two shows… One at 8pm. One at 10:30pm… Some people wonder, “Hey, why is your late show at 10:30″ and the answer is so people who are jacked up for more theatre after seeing or performing in A Christmas Carol or Wizard of Oz or some other theatrical fare can make their way to the birds and stone for some more staged shenanigans… Plus, we need time to reset the show… and eat… Being hilarious makes you hungry… Actually so does not being hilarious, because you can get depressed when the punch line you delivered went without frenzied guffaws from the audience and you go to food for solace and reassurance, crying as you eat, as you mentally prepare for the next show… Or in the case of Pat Quinn (pictured), you eat some sort of blended slurry that is a mixture of chicken feathers, bacon, fried rice, and salted pecans… Either way, we need time to reset and eat, and you need time to get there, presumably after going skating or seeing a play or watching a movie or seeing the zoo lights… I guess, what I’m saying is, you should see one of the two shows we’re performing tonight… It will most likely change the trajectory of all of our lives… So, see you tonight (or Saturday, I guess)!

HUGS

…And it was fantastic! At the end of it we were all entangled, covered in sweat, with smiles on our faces… The audience seemed to like it, too… So, we’re going to call that one a win… And now there are only four shows left before our three month hiatus/hibernation… Gosh sakes! So we’re going to try to make this time special… We might even go to a public house Thursday night after the show to gorge on some sort of Italian flat-bread known as “pizza” (that is rumoured to be half-price)… And then perhaps, when the late show ends on Friday, some caroling! It’ll probably be in Hebrew, just to mix it up a bit… That’s what all folk enjoy at midnight: the sounds of classic Jewish carols being sung by sketch comedians… Yay! Then after we close the show on Saturday, a cast party… Probably start off the epic cast party in Justin Michael’s beard (pictured, left) with some nachos and beers, then move to the good times to another public house, where we will play a spirited game of “I’ll tell you what I really think of you, you sonafabitch”, usually instigated by a drunken Patrick Quinn (not pictured) that will end with everyone in tears and hugging… Just like any family get-together this holiday season! Yay! So, I guess what I’m saying is you should join us on one of these epic adventures… Choose a night… Come to the show… And then after the show, we shall continue mirth-making with the aforementioned scenarios… You know, probably. Yay!

HUGS!

And lo, five SKETCHGASMS did occur… And there was much rejoicing! And then, SKETCHGASM was no more… So… long story short, folks… The show is over… Another Late, Late Breakfast Show has taken that fateful ride into the sunset… And it was OUR MOST SUCCESSFUL SHOW EVER! Thanks to the fans, the newbies, the volunteers, the cast, and the crew… The LLBS keeps growing and soon we shall take over the world…  Well, we have to tackle the December show first… That’s right! We just closed SKETCHGASM and are starting SNOW JOB next week… It never ends… But for the next couple of days, all involved in SKETCHGASM shall take a much deserved nap… We took a lot of risks and were rewarded mightily (mostly with laughter and cupcakes)… So, there will be a short respite, meaning that there won’t be any blog posts, emails, facebook invitations, or disturbing/hilarious youtube videos for at least five days… Here’s what we do know… Amos, Charlotte, Pat Quinn, and (appearing courtesy of Canadian Actors’ Equity Association) Justin Michael Carriere will return in SNOW JOB… There is one more cast member, who shall be revealed shortly (Oh, the intrigue!)… The dates are also solid (Dec 7-10), as is the theatre (birds and stone, 204 16th Ave NW)… But enough about the future… Let’s bask in the present… And the recent past… Aaaahhhh… SKETCHGASM… Good times… Apparently, six orgasms did occur during SKETCHGASM (note: three were Pat Quinn’s), and an unconfirmed amount of laughter (we lost count… yeah… I guess the show was that hilarious… hope you didn’t miss it, otherwise you’re probably not as enlightened/transcendent/full of joy as you could be)… So, we (and history) shall record SKETCHGASM as a great success… And now, a nap… See you all soon…

HUGS!

Wow! Thursday nearly sold out… Amazing! Keep it up, everyone! Not to put down Wednesday’s crowd, because we opened on Wednesday to an enthusiastic crowd that helped us get through the show for the 1st time… Seriously, the 1st time… We changed the scene order after a looong dress rehearsal, to cut time out of the show and make the show tighter and stronger (much like Cliff’s penis, which is displayed to the right)… And now, like the photo of Justin and Cliff (again, to the right) suggests, we can nearly taste it! Success, that is… Not Cliff’s penis (yes, to the right)… Two shows down, three to go… Friday night is going to be a marathon… Two shows in one night (at 8pm and 10:30pm)… Exhausting and exhilarating… Who will make it through? Who will fall? And then… Saturday… We shall close the show that night, presumably after three straight sell-out crowds and much critical acclaim… And then, we party… Probably heartily… Until then, we will keep SKETCHGASMing until everyone is satisfied… So tell everybody you know in the Calgary area to dress sexy, come to the Pumphouse Theatre (2140 Pumphouse Ave SW), and get ready to to have your body shiver with ecstasy, as you and your many friends writhe in your seats barely able to contain the moans of pleasure begging to come out of you… And all the while, you are laughing and laughing… The comedy bringing you to a place that few dare to dream… And so… We hope you can join us on this sensual journey of laughter and lust…

HUGS and HIGH-FIVES!

PS- Clifford Kelly and/or his penis are not affiliated with SKETCHGASM… If you want to see Cliff’s penis you’ll have to go to Edmonton and ask him (unless you have Skype, then there may be other options)…

IN LESS THAN ONE WEEK, SKETCHGASM IS COMING TO CALGARY! ALL OVER CALGARY. ALL UP IN CALGARY. BOOM! WORDPLAY! But enough of the all caps shenanigans… It’s time for some SKETCHGASM news. As you may have heard (it’s all over face-tweet), Meg Farhall had to drop out of the show because of a conflict with her karate class… But she still may be sighted at Friday night’s 8pm SKETCHGASM performance, running the Pumphouse Theatre box office for us… You see, karate can’t keep her away… We’ve got a couple of days left before we get into the theatre, so we’re working hard to “learn” our “lines” and “not kill each other” (escpecially Justin Michael, whose unruly beard has caused the cast a number of injuries)…. And our not-so-secret guest performer (it’s Pat Quinn, but don’t tell anyone… it’s a secret…) has finally joined us for some top secret rehearsals… Wow! That’s a lot of news… And we haven’t even started talking about the anticipated return of Teddy Valentine to the LLBS… Or Amos possibly taking his shirt off… Or the live sex acts that we might have to cut due to government intervention and cast veto… But those will have to wait… For now, I will leave you with this, which may give you an indication of the number of orgasms to expect during a Late, Late Breakfast Show… What I’m saying is this video should bring you to orgasm… And it’s not even from SKETCHGASM… So just imagine how many orgasms await you when you see SKETCHGASM (once again, the LLBS cannot promise, but doesn’t not endorse, achieving orgasms during its shows)… And so, withour further stuff and things, here is the video that has possibly been banned from the internet being too sensual:

Yes, the breakfast adventure of a lifetime starts now! We don’t yet know what SKETCHGASM will look like when it goes up in November, and we don’t really know what a SKETCHGASM is (all we do know is SKETCHGASM is a combination of the LLBS’s favourite things: sketch comedy and orgasms… which may imply that it will be sketch comedy so awe-inspiring and sexy that it induces orgasm… which we can not contractually promise, as the exchange of money involved might bring the show itself dangerously close to prostitution…), but we have started our journey by having our first cast meeting… We discussed ideas for the show, when rehearsals would start, and if we could find a way to use, in SKETCHGASM, the swords Justin Michael borrowed from a homeless guy…  Uh-oh! I’ve mentioned Justin Michael Carriere’s name, which means we must not forget to mention that he is appearing in the show courtesy of Canadian Actors’ Equity Association… It also means I should mention the other cast members… There will be no drum-roll, but it should still be exciting… Ready? GO:

AMOS ALTMAN   GAVIN WILLIAMS   TEDDY VALENTINE

BARB MITCHELL   CHARLOTTE [NAME REDACTED]  

and maybe, just maybe… PAT QUINN

“Wow!” “I know! That cast be pancakes, yo!” “Pancakes?” “Stacked!” “Word!”

And you have now probably had your first (of many) orgasms associated with SKETCHGASM. You’re welcome.

Note: Orgasms are not heretofore promised (or required) in association with the Late, Late Breakfast Show’s presentation of SKETCHGASM. The Late, Late Breakfast Show has no obligation to bring any member of our audience to orgasm, and any orgasms that do occur will not be a result of any contractual agreement between the LLBS and our patrons.

Hey gang! Tis been a couple of days since we closed A Late, Late Breakfast Slumber Party… And a good time was had, presumably, by most/all… Dance parties, pillowfights, kissing, buiding forts (during rehearsal)… Ah, good times… And we are currently taking about a week off before starting up our next opus: SKETCHGASM, playing from Nov 9-12, which will be the LLBS’ debut at the Pumphouse Theatre… But before we start on this adventure, we must reflect on our last one… It was a wonderful show… I believe that is an unbiased statement, considering it was told to many of our cast in confidence by both friends and strangers after the show… This brought about two questions:

2.) Were these people lying?

1.) Why were they whispering their praise in dark corners?

Well, I can safely say that our audience never lies… They are a trustworthy sort… And we do get laughs, so honest mirth was measured… As for the dark corners… Perhaps some lads and lasses were ashamed at laughing at some of our more ribald antics or unwilling to admit publicly their love of witty (and prop-heavy) movement pieces that would make Chaplin blush (possibly in anger)… Regardless, I believe their praise was whispered not because of shame but because many of our patrons needed to subtly reveal their sadness… The sadness that they couldn’t have found more people to bring with them to share they joy they now felt…  We didn’t come close to selling out any of our Slumber Party shows, and a small piece of each audience member’s heart ached to help us do so; but, alas it was too late… Perhaps, in their mind, to paraphrase Oskar Schindler, they could have done more… But they arrived, attended, laughed… It is all we can ask… And while we in the show, to paraphrase Mr. T, pity the foo’ who doesn’t see every Late, Late Breakfast Show they can, we also understand that life is full of personal business that may keep you from the merriment of our show… Or perhaps some people hate laughter… Or maybe some folks think sketch comedy or improv is lame and/or easy, and not really theatre… Or maybe they think it is theatre, but all theatre is for dullards… In any case, we can only hope to change your minds… But we have to get you to the theatre to do so… And to paraphrase Gavin Williams’ monologue from A Late, Late Breakfast Slumber Party, how do “you get people to a fucking theatre in fucking Calgary [...] when your basement apartment smells of cat urine?!”

The truth is, word-of-mouth has been working for us… Our audiences have steadily grown and/or remained constant… And the shows continue to improve, which is why the slight decline for Slumber Party was killing us: we could have spread more joy (though we still took an optimistic approach… “Hey, we can do most of these scenes again, since not a lot of people saw them”)… Yes, people loved the show… And we loved them for it… And in their hushed tones, whilst telling us of its greatness, and hidden within their Schindler-like sorrow, they were also curious as to why this show didn’t have bigger audiences… We tried to explain about the economic downturn or the return of Two and a Half Men, but some were so enraged that they demanded to see our publicist… Which is inevitably when we told them we didn’t have a publicist… Or a marketing budget… We had other expenses, such as shaving cream, bear masks, and toy cars (if you saw the show you know it was money well spent)… So, it was understood… We needed help… And all of those whispers turned to gallant cheers and those who saw Slumber Party vowed to make our next show, SKETCHGASM, be our biggest yet… And so, how do we get 500 of the 998193 Calgarians to see what most of our audience believes to be “a kick-ass, thrill ride that made me fall out of my seat laughing”*? To be continued, friends… I can only say that the grassroots campaign has begun! That is all… See you in November (9th to 12th, Pumphouse Theatre, SKETCHGASM!)…

HUGS

*not a real quote